The proliferation of speed bumps on Chicago’s side streets completes the cycle. Traffic has already been slowed to a crawl on our expressways and, thanks to many aldermanic stop signs, it’s as slow on our arterial streets. So, it’s no surprise that the people in our neighborhoods want the same things for themselves that their more affluent suburban brothers already take for granted—slow moving traffic.
And we agree in principle that traffic moving too fast on side streets represents a hazard. What with children darting out into the street chasing balls and with drivers speeding from their driveways to enter the streets without looking at oncoming traffic, having the speed bumps is a great idea. But we should add to this concept a few things that local burghers might think less appropriate than those axle-bending, shock absorber-destroying bumps, many of which aren’t marked.
This idea occurred to me the other day as I was driving through Andersonville, an otherwise stable community. As I slammed on my brakes at every one of the dimly marked bumps, I looked for kids who might wander into the street. Fortunately, there were none. But it occurred to me that the neighbors whose concerns about speeding motorists initiated the program to install the bumps in the first place might be happier if any child who might thoughtlessly dart into traffic were warned by having the motorist blow his horn loudly when he approaches the bump. There’s precedent for this—railroad engineers always blow their whistles when they approach a crossing. The fact that an occasional pedestrian ignores these whistles and gets squashed by the locomotive is no excuse for their not using the whistle for a warning signal.
I suppose that homeowners in those areas would object to the noise, especially at night when most kids are asleep anyway. But these areas also are near commercial streets which house taverns and other places of late night entertainment, and the horn blowing could reasonably alert a reveler who might not be at his quickest when crossing streets at two o’clock in the morning in his home arena. Of course, if the locals object to the horn blowing as much as most motorists object to the speed bumps, arbitration could be arranged with the Mayor on one side and the editor-in-chief of the Tribune on the other. If the locals were forced to give up their speed bumps and motorists were to forego their horn blowing, the city would once again return to its more peaceful past. The only ones to object then would be the repair shops whose business would certainly fall off due to the reduction of shock absorber, brake and suspension system repairs.
In another arena under the generic title of city improvements, the City could begin enforcing its ordinance requiring the utilities to replace the streets that they tear up for infrastructure improvements. The advent of cable television has been a boon to many couch potatoes, but it has wreaked havoc with our streets. Recent replacement of ancient water pipes and gas mains has also taken its toll on our streets. The workmen and their corporate bosses efficiently tear a trench in the street and repair or replace the offending utility service. Then, they fill the hole with sand, put a cold patch of asphalt across the trench and call it a day.
It doesn’t take long for the street to have a rut almost as deep as the original trench and a lot rougher. This problem is exacerbated during the winter and spring when water seeps into the cracks between the original street and the patched portion and then freezes and thaws, making deep and tire-chopping potholes.
The ordinance requires the utilities to replace the streets they destroy with paving of equivalent quality and type. It doesn’t let them get away with patching a trench that’s 18 inches wide and ignoring the fact that the patch creates additional problems for drivers and, ultimately, for everybody in town. At that point, when called, the utilities usually respond, "Who? Us?—No way." This problem is no less true in cases where new construction requires hookups to gas, water and sewer lines located under the streets where the new housing is being built. There’s an obvious need for the work that’s being done, but there’s no excuse for not returning the street to its original condition—even if it was pockmarked with potholes, dents, and other road hazards.
Finally, there’s the haphazard way in which sections of main streets are repaved. An example is the Outer Drive between Irving Park Rd. and Lawrence Ave., which is a little more rugged than a wash board. South of Irving Park Rd., the scene of repaving a few years ago, the street is smooth and the driving is pleasant. But north of Irving Park Rd., it’s the sort of surface that you see on TV commercials for rugged off-road vehicles. It’s not unreasonable for the city to see to the repairs of this street that runs along Chicago’s front lawn. How about it, Mayor Daley? Get the landscape pay-rollers off the streets and put a few bucks into street repairs, and we’d all enjoy the city more. |
